I am writing about something different today. My usual topic is generally about health related topics whether recipes or solutions for a variety of issues. Actually friendship is a health topic. We need friends to be happy and healthy. If the friends are special they are there for us when we need them. Friends create a sociability in our lives that we need to survive.
I have a friend who has been playing mahjong with the same group of women for almost 50 years. I am daunted by that. Unfortunately or fortunately we have moved many times and I have left friends behind. Of course we promise to stay in touch and often that seems to disappear with time.
Friendships begin for many reasons. When we were very young we met friends at work and through our children. People were where we were and we cultivated those friendships. Many times we have friends develop who live in our neighborhood or at a place of worship, and when we move the friendship ends. I had a friend who lived across the alley with her two kids and husband. We met everyday outside with our kids and spent a lot of time together. We moved away only 1 mile, and we got together once and sadly the friendship ended.
The ending of friendships can be created by several things. Sometimes the friendship loses its purpose and the friendship disappears. I had a good friend who I knew for just a short time and we became almost inseparable. She was in a state of neediness looking for a job and afraid she would lose her house. I never gave her money but found her a temporary job that tided her over, plus was supportive in many ways. She was also a good friend. She got her dream job and got married and the friendship slowly ebbed away. The reason was gone.
Sometimes friends move away to another state and you stay in touch via email etc. Sometimes these friendships stay afloat for several years and sometimes not.
Sometimes friendships end from a major disagreement and it never get solved.
Sometimes friends end for no apparent reason…though I don’t completely believe that. Sometimes sadly friends die.
If I am at liberty to say I think we have experienced all of these situations at one time or another. Friendships have to be nurtured and kept alive. And as we age the need for large groups for friends often wanes. I currently have three friends I trust and are willing to share their lives and we care about each other. Sometimes you have to do housecleaning of people you thought were friends but leave you unhappy and upset. There is a jealousy factor that many of us are not willing to admit.
I am happy spending time with my husband and even alone. I am social but really feel my time is valuable and I want to spend with people that make me feel happy, and we laugh and enjoy life.
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